July 3rd 2016 I got the word “Faith” tattooed on my wrist. Naturally, I feel like if you get a tattoo, you have some explaining to do, so here we go…
If I had to describe my testimony in one word, it would be faith.
I never really thought about faith and the meaning of the word in the beginning of high school. I just thought because I believed in in Jesus, it was something that was just given to me. From there on out, I lived my normal life, hung out with my friends, did my own thing and never really gave that word a second thought-until my sophomore year.
Parents divorcing. Earth shattering news to any 16 year old. Naturally, I pretended that it wasn’t happening. I did everything I could to distract myself.
I auditioned for the school play- didn’t make the cut.
I auditioned for OneVoice- didn’t make the cut for 3 years.
Tried endlessly to hang out with friends because I didn’t want to go home- turns out we were all still sophomores and no one did anything on a school night.
In this situation, I felt all alone. I was desperately trying to put my faith in other things and rely on them to get me out of this mess I was in.
One night, I lay awake wondering how I got caught up in the middle of all of this. I felt so exhausted and then I heard God whisper His thoughts to me in a sleepless daze. “Are you done yet?” WHAT!!!!!!! I panicked and whispered back, “Done with what?” Not knowing what would happen next, I just laid there in silence. “Are you done trying to put your faith in earthly things? Don’t you see I am the only one left?” And then it hit me. I didn’t make the play or OneVoice and I felt all alone because God took away everything in my life to show me that my faith in Him was the ONLY thing I needed.
I only needed faith. I didn’t even think about God this whole time and He was the only one still there for me.
Now that I’ve had this giant realization about faith- I still don’t think I understand it fully. I believe that faith is a giant thing to wrap your head around. I’ve learned that faith is not something you just have because you follow Jesus, it is something you constantly have to work toward. I believe that faith is not a feeling; its a decision you have to make everyday to trust God even when you can’t see what lies ahead.
That is why I got it tattooed on my wrist. I wake up, I see the word faith, and its a daily reminder to trust God, because He carries my life in His hands, and He will never abandon me. He’s actually the one who will always be around- even when my faith in everything else fails…
I still have my faith in Him.